After All These Years

Oddly enough, it's been over 23 years since I last had a date. The last time I was single, I basically dated only the man who became my second husband. I had about six other dates during that time. I had somewhat serious dates with two other men. They never became anything that I thought would last. Plus, I was in love with Bill. I thought he was the love of my life.

Now we are getting a divorce. We should have ended the marriage many years earlier but we had a daughter and I wanted her to be raised in the stability of a two-parent home. Having two parents in the home, in my opinion, provides a feeling of security, especially if there is no palpable tension between the parents. And I still loved Bill. We had some good things going for us.

But a few years ago, thinking that my father was going to pass away soon, we moved him into our home. He was weak, suffered from congestive heart failure and had a raging infection that had made him temporarily delirious. He was clearly incapable of living by himself, and the care he would require in an assisted living facility was prohibitive. We emptied his two homes, had an estate of many of his possessions, sold his car, got a caregiver for him.

Then Bill was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He had already been diagnosed with coronary heart disease and had had a triple bypass, he had bipolar disorder, and late-onset diabetes. Ah, we thought, he's gonna go fast because this is a particularly deadly form of cancer.

A few months later he was jockeying to have my dad either removed from the house or pay us $6000 to continue living with us. Two days before our wedding anniversary he called to say that ----fyi and he didn't want to keep lying to me---- he was gambling, always had been, always would be, and that's just the way it was. Gambling had been a thorn in our marriage early on. I guessed it was coming back. Actually, I realized it had never gone away. That would explain where his social security was going. I asked for some security to hedge against any damage that might occur; he said there was no need. He didn't like my suggestion that we get a divorce on paper and he sign over the assets to me. We got divorced.

So now I am ready to date again after all these years.