Minimum Requirements

Well, I signed up with the online dating service,did the copious amounts of answering before I was considered 'finished'. The 'matches' started coming fast and furious. There were twenty-something the first day and the number grew to over 70 in time. My friend, J, said the additional 'matches' were from men who were signing up as time went by.

Then I started sifting through the pile. I had fibbed about my age because I look a lot younger than I am. And I remembered from my high school reunion that a lot of the guys looked pretty bad, pretty old. Five people were using canes and one looked like Santa Claus. After lying about my age, I tried to go back into my profile to change it but I couldn't. Despite that, I am not interested in dating someone close to ten years younger than I am. So I decided on an age limit. I won't go out with anyone who is more than 7 years younger than I or more than 8 years older. That's a decent age spread. The online dating service, however, was matching me with men who are 17 years older than I said I am. Wow! That's like grandma and grandpa.

The other requirement I have is for height. They cannot be less than two inches taller than I. I don't really wear heels but I don't want to date anyone who might possibly have a short-man's complex. 5'8" is my absolute shortest.

There are some other requirements. I won't know the answers to some of these until we meet. They are: job, security, connection to exes, and overall financial stability. It is imperative that whoever it is can support himself, pay his own bills, and have his own retirement funds. I don't want renters either.

The type of work they do is also important. I don't want any Amway salesmen or realtors. I'm not thrilled about insurance salesmen either.

Then there are sports. I am limited in my athletic abilities, I don't care for winter sports, and I get terribly seasick. I also refuse to play any sports where I have to chase little balls. That cuts out: skiing, sailing, tennis, golf, and sailing/boating. Now I'm limiting myself but I can't help it. I'm also allergic to cats. And then there's NASCAR. Don't make me sit in bleachers and watch cars going around and around and around while spewing horrible fumes into the air.

There are my minimum requirements. Here we go!